When Trust Is Broken: Grappling with the Reality of Violence in Our Community

Some people seem fine—until you find out they’re not.

 

In this episode of Chokeholds & Chill, Jenn and Mallory confront one of the hardest realities about training in combat sports: You don’t always know who you’re rolling with. We’re talking about trust, about violence, and about the terrifying fact that we trained, sparred, and laughed with someone who would later be arrested for attacking a woman in broad daylight.

 

He was a trusted training partner, someone we shared the mats with, someone we—like so many others—thought was just another guy in the gym. Sure, we’d joke, “Man, I’d hate to run into him in a dark alley,” but we said it with the assumption that he was dangerous in sport, not in life. And then he was arrested for violently attacking a woman outside of a Walmart, in the early evening, in public. Two men had to fight him off.

 

And the truth is, this isn’t just about this case. According to RAINN, 8 out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows—a friend, a coworker, a classmate, a teammate. Only 19.5% of sexual assaults are committed by strangers. The people most dangerous to us often don’t look dangerous at all.

 

Together, we ask: How do we process the fact that some of the people we trust most could be capable of violence? And how do we create a training culture where survivors can feel safe?

 

This is an episode we never thought we’d have to record—but here we are.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, violence, and trauma. If these topics are difficult for you, please listen with care or skip this episode if needed. If you or someone you know needs support, please seek out resources such as RAINN (800-656-HOPE) or other local organizations that can help.

Source: https://jiujiteiramagazine.com/2021/08/end-the-abuse/